My friend, E is ditching us for this girl I hate, J. My friend T doesn't like her either, and my friend C is pretty neutral about it (which is kinda annoying). It's not like E doesn't like us anymore, it's just that she's spending more and more time with J, and it's really grating on our nerves. It's like J is trying to steal E away... the sad part is that it's working. J is ok with my other friends, but she had admitted herself that she doesn't like me for no reason, and the feeling is mutual. What I want to know is: Would it be too pushy to confront E about it, or should I just let it go? I don't want my BFF to distance from me!
Thank you for your time =]
xox
Nicki
My friend is diching us for a girl I hate... what do I do?
confront E. never let go of the ones you love cause you'll regret it. i once let go of my bf months ago and i regret it alot
Reply:Let her go! If she said that she doesn't like you for no reason then stopp being her friend. Some girls like "J" probably don't have friends at all and try to take friends away to get revenge on people. You might haven't done a single thing to her but maybe she envies you on the many friends you have. She might be jealous. If "J" sees that you are getting angry then she'll do it even more.
If you still want "E" back then tell her how you feel and if she doesn't show any concern then tell her that you don't want to be friends with her but that you'll still care about her. Just let"E" know that you still care about her. Or just let her be "J's" friend even if you don't like her. Okay? My friend,"C" she still hangs with this spoiled,mean,self-abosred, girl but I let her hang with that girl jsut to show "C" that I'm a good friend. And maybe,just maybe,try to be "J's" friend or talk to her to let her know that your not gettiing angry at her for what's she's doing.(She might respect you a little, you never know.)
Reply:tell her how you feel and maybe she will undertand .
Reply:tell her how you feel, if she is a real BFF she will understand.
Monday, May 24, 2010
I have a friend who likes this guy. Today I find out that another girl likes the same guy. Should I tell her?
There is this friend who we'll call N, she's a freshman. She likes this guy named P who is a Junior. N told me that she liked P. (I kinda like N...but thats not the point) Then my friend L(who is a senior, i'm also a senior) tells me that our friend C who is a sophmore, likes P. I was wondering shouldI tell N about C? Or just leave it?
I have a friend who likes this guy. Today I find out that another girl likes the same guy. Should I tell her?
Um...we all like people. There is always going to be somebody else that likes P or N. You aren't the only one to like N either.
So, if the reason is just to tell her to let her down, I wouldn't. It's not like she's dying to go out with him. She's a freshman-a harmless crush.
Now if you wanted to tell her because you wanted to get rid of P so you can have her, that is another story.
Reply:i guess your motives are the deciding factor here, if you want to tell her to perhaps prevent her from being hurt then your motives are good and you should tell her.
If your doing this so that you have a chance with her, do not it will simply backfire and if she finds out this was the reason im not too sure she would be flattered, im no expert with women not at all, but in my experience ive found honesty is a quality women adore, to be honest not just women i think all people admire honesty.
If its to get a chance with her dont tell her about this guy she likes instead mention that you like her unless you value her too much as a friend to lose her as such, or at least make it a bit uncomfortable, i guess the alternative is tell her this guy likes another girl and see what pans out with this guy then after that mention you like her .
Reply:dont get involved Just let things fall where they may
Reply:yea tell but be casual about it..if it comes up on the topic then be like ohh "C" likes him 2
Reply:yea tell her. Also dont use letters they get kinda confusing. Just use fake names if your worried they will see it.
I have a friend who likes this guy. Today I find out that another girl likes the same guy. Should I tell her?
Um...we all like people. There is always going to be somebody else that likes P or N. You aren't the only one to like N either.
So, if the reason is just to tell her to let her down, I wouldn't. It's not like she's dying to go out with him. She's a freshman-a harmless crush.
Now if you wanted to tell her because you wanted to get rid of P so you can have her, that is another story.
Reply:i guess your motives are the deciding factor here, if you want to tell her to perhaps prevent her from being hurt then your motives are good and you should tell her.
If your doing this so that you have a chance with her, do not it will simply backfire and if she finds out this was the reason im not too sure she would be flattered, im no expert with women not at all, but in my experience ive found honesty is a quality women adore, to be honest not just women i think all people admire honesty.
If its to get a chance with her dont tell her about this guy she likes instead mention that you like her unless you value her too much as a friend to lose her as such, or at least make it a bit uncomfortable, i guess the alternative is tell her this guy likes another girl and see what pans out with this guy then after that mention you like her .
Reply:dont get involved Just let things fall where they may
Reply:yea tell but be casual about it..if it comes up on the topic then be like ohh "C" likes him 2
Reply:yea tell her. Also dont use letters they get kinda confusing. Just use fake names if your worried they will see it.
Am I wrong to give an ultimatum to my boyfriend about his pothead friend?
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and living together the last 2 years. He had a serious drug addiction to meth and pot, and went to residential treatment for a little over 6 months- Feb. '07 to Sep. '07 and came home. The problem is we have a guy friend "C" who is a really good guy, but a SERIOUS pothead and smokes weed all the time. While my bf was in rehab, my bf even said that he doesn't think he can be friends or hang out with "C" anymore. When my bf got back from rehab, a month later I allowed him to hang out with "C" at C's house almost every weekend. I don't know if my bf is lying or not, but he said that while "C" would smoke weed, he would go outside and have a cigarette. I trusted my bf in hoping he won't get addictive cravings and start weed again, and I trusted our friend "C" to watch out for him. Last Sunday, I caught my bf in C's truck, and it was all smoky inside. My bf claims he didn't smoke weed and was just talking. I told him I would buy a drug test from
Am I wrong to give an ultimatum to my boyfriend about his pothead friend?
I didnt even need to read all of this. My husband is a recovering addict and I can tell you this.
You can tell him that you are worried about this friend. You would prefer for him to not hang out with him BUT you need to decide that YOU will not put up with it. dont leave it to him to decide how you are going to spend your life, with him in it or not. Dont give him the power to decide your future.
Reply:No you're wrong in staying with this fool. Dump him and move on and get a man without all this drama.
Reply:if your friend is back on weed it wont take long to find out there are signs to look for eye drops for red spaced out eyes ,forgetfulness,rolling papers in his pockets ,keep yor eyes are open ...its true second hand smoke can turn out positive in a drug test .is he on prescription drugs cause serious pot users generally need prescription pill to help kick the habit in the long term will power is not always enough ..
Reply:You have every absolute right to let him know about the future of the relationship. He was given a chance to change and he screwed up and went back to his old habits. If you stay with him you may not have a future. I suggest that you tell him how you feel about this and if he does not yield, then you have no choice but to leave him. However, in the case that he pleads for you not to leave, that's when you "smack" him with the Ultimatum.
Reply:Guys usually have a problem putting a woman before their good friends, so lay off a little bit. He might think you nag him too much and dump you
Reply:No you're probably not wrong. Pot in itself isn't so bad, but if you are a recovering Meth addict, then anything is bad. Oh and yes, of course he was smoking weed with "C". I can't imagine a person who would want to date anyone who was addicted to meth, but maybe that's me. You should break up with him and find a real man. But it's okay to be his friend and try to get him to help himself.
Reply:Abstinence is absolute. He should have learned that in rehab place. Is like AA, they do not say, is ok if you do not drink anymore, is ok to take those pills and is ok to smoke that rope, nope, it does not work that way, is in all the literature that he has from the rehab place.
Tell him to man up, tell his buddy to man up also. Don't do junk that is illegal or harmful to the recovery in the presence of an addict.
Once an addict, always an addict, that is the common understanding of addictive personalities. Some can conquer the substances or drugs of choice , others do not have that ability.
Did boyfriend go in treatment cause he chose to, or was it court ordered,. That is a point that I am iffy on, if it was court ordered, then he never actually made the choice to get off the junk.
But anyhoots, to make it work, one has to work at it, daily,hourly and so on.
Reply:Sorry, weed isn't physically addictive, so...as long as "C" doesn't do meth, I wouldn't worry too much. They say weed is a gateway drug, so I guess if your boyfriend has that addictive of a personality, you may want to keep him from it so he doesn't transition to meth again. But, you don't hear about people ruining their lives because of weed alone. Oh, and he already smokes cigarettes...so it's not like that's healthy. And he's lying, he's already smoking weed again.
Reply:Dump he is a pothead drugie , you can do better you need some who will look out for you as much a you lookout for them. It is not going to get better. Kick him out,change the locks. Get rid of all those losers. It is really hard to met some
the older you get, so don't waste your time get, so get rid of him and start over with someone who has other interests besides drugs and is not going to treat you like a mom.
Reply:Unfortunately you cannot control your BF life. If he says he isnt smoking it then you need to trust him. You are gonna drive him away by acting like his mother. Weed is not that bad and I know tons of successful people who do jobs that are prestigious in the community who smoke daily. You would be surprised. As for the meth, that is what you should be worrying about and if his friend C isnt a tweeker than he should be fine. And even if your BF slips up and wants to get stoned, who cares. Tell him you understand how hard overcoming addiction can be and not everybody gets it right the first time. You have to take it step by step.
Am I wrong to give an ultimatum to my boyfriend about his pothead friend?
I didnt even need to read all of this. My husband is a recovering addict and I can tell you this.
You can tell him that you are worried about this friend. You would prefer for him to not hang out with him BUT you need to decide that YOU will not put up with it. dont leave it to him to decide how you are going to spend your life, with him in it or not. Dont give him the power to decide your future.
Reply:No you're wrong in staying with this fool. Dump him and move on and get a man without all this drama.
Reply:if your friend is back on weed it wont take long to find out there are signs to look for eye drops for red spaced out eyes ,forgetfulness,rolling papers in his pockets ,keep yor eyes are open ...its true second hand smoke can turn out positive in a drug test .is he on prescription drugs cause serious pot users generally need prescription pill to help kick the habit in the long term will power is not always enough ..
Reply:You have every absolute right to let him know about the future of the relationship. He was given a chance to change and he screwed up and went back to his old habits. If you stay with him you may not have a future. I suggest that you tell him how you feel about this and if he does not yield, then you have no choice but to leave him. However, in the case that he pleads for you not to leave, that's when you "smack" him with the Ultimatum.
Reply:Guys usually have a problem putting a woman before their good friends, so lay off a little bit. He might think you nag him too much and dump you
Reply:No you're probably not wrong. Pot in itself isn't so bad, but if you are a recovering Meth addict, then anything is bad. Oh and yes, of course he was smoking weed with "C". I can't imagine a person who would want to date anyone who was addicted to meth, but maybe that's me. You should break up with him and find a real man. But it's okay to be his friend and try to get him to help himself.
Reply:Abstinence is absolute. He should have learned that in rehab place. Is like AA, they do not say, is ok if you do not drink anymore, is ok to take those pills and is ok to smoke that rope, nope, it does not work that way, is in all the literature that he has from the rehab place.
Tell him to man up, tell his buddy to man up also. Don't do junk that is illegal or harmful to the recovery in the presence of an addict.
Once an addict, always an addict, that is the common understanding of addictive personalities. Some can conquer the substances or drugs of choice , others do not have that ability.
Did boyfriend go in treatment cause he chose to, or was it court ordered,. That is a point that I am iffy on, if it was court ordered, then he never actually made the choice to get off the junk.
But anyhoots, to make it work, one has to work at it, daily,hourly and so on.
Reply:Sorry, weed isn't physically addictive, so...as long as "C" doesn't do meth, I wouldn't worry too much. They say weed is a gateway drug, so I guess if your boyfriend has that addictive of a personality, you may want to keep him from it so he doesn't transition to meth again. But, you don't hear about people ruining their lives because of weed alone. Oh, and he already smokes cigarettes...so it's not like that's healthy. And he's lying, he's already smoking weed again.
Reply:Dump he is a pothead drugie , you can do better you need some who will look out for you as much a you lookout for them. It is not going to get better. Kick him out,change the locks. Get rid of all those losers. It is really hard to met some
the older you get, so don't waste your time get, so get rid of him and start over with someone who has other interests besides drugs and is not going to treat you like a mom.
Reply:Unfortunately you cannot control your BF life. If he says he isnt smoking it then you need to trust him. You are gonna drive him away by acting like his mother. Weed is not that bad and I know tons of successful people who do jobs that are prestigious in the community who smoke daily. You would be surprised. As for the meth, that is what you should be worrying about and if his friend C isnt a tweeker than he should be fine. And even if your BF slips up and wants to get stoned, who cares. Tell him you understand how hard overcoming addiction can be and not everybody gets it right the first time. You have to take it step by step.
Friend Problem.?
this girl and i have been friend for years. During our friendship we've gotten into fights. they've always been over the internet and shes always said horrible things. i dont thinks i've done anything wrong to deserve this. Recently she and another friend decided to joke around an call me a lesbian. which led into another fight. she told my bff that shes always hated me and she even planed to beat me up. A couple days ago she started talking to me again. i just went along. i am really confsed as to why shes talking to me again. i can never forgive her and the only reasons shes talking to me are:
A. she thinks shes done nothing wrong.
B.shes doing it as a joke, to pretend to be my friend.
C. shes bored of her other friends.
Im just confused.
Friend Problem.?
Sounds to me like she dont know that she can have more than one friend and that you dont have to put down your other friends to make you look cool around the others, I would although if I was you watch my back because she sounds like a very unstable person who could turn on you in an instant, if she is already telling people she is "planning to beat you up" dont let your gaurd down so she can!
Good luck hon,
Reply:listen this is just a mismatch
she's just trying to make fun of you got it!!
while putting you down she's enjoin it
so just leave her and find the one for u
I've had the same experience you know
so by doing this you touch her feelings
she'll then feel sorry for what you've done
Reply:I know I don't have the 100% story, but it seems to me that this girl shouldn't be your friend. If she makes you so miserable on a regular basis, she isn't worth it. Try to talk to her, in person, about how you are feeling, if she pulls more crap like this than don't be her friend anymore.
Best of luck!
-Kelli
Reply:Don't be confused.
It's clear that she doesn't deserve you. And definitely she's not your friend. Close the loop with her and say bye. You don't need such mess in your life. Focus on what's important in your and make sure you are happy. Let her go and wish her all the best with whatever she's doing.
Reply:Tell her how you feel. Make her understand you without her wandering off. If she doesn't listen, keep telling her until you get it into her mind.
nil
A. she thinks shes done nothing wrong.
B.shes doing it as a joke, to pretend to be my friend.
C. shes bored of her other friends.
Im just confused.
Friend Problem.?
Sounds to me like she dont know that she can have more than one friend and that you dont have to put down your other friends to make you look cool around the others, I would although if I was you watch my back because she sounds like a very unstable person who could turn on you in an instant, if she is already telling people she is "planning to beat you up" dont let your gaurd down so she can!
Good luck hon,
Reply:listen this is just a mismatch
she's just trying to make fun of you got it!!
while putting you down she's enjoin it
so just leave her and find the one for u
I've had the same experience you know
so by doing this you touch her feelings
she'll then feel sorry for what you've done
Reply:I know I don't have the 100% story, but it seems to me that this girl shouldn't be your friend. If she makes you so miserable on a regular basis, she isn't worth it. Try to talk to her, in person, about how you are feeling, if she pulls more crap like this than don't be her friend anymore.
Best of luck!
-Kelli
Reply:Don't be confused.
It's clear that she doesn't deserve you. And definitely she's not your friend. Close the loop with her and say bye. You don't need such mess in your life. Focus on what's important in your and make sure you are happy. Let her go and wish her all the best with whatever she's doing.
Reply:Tell her how you feel. Make her understand you without her wandering off. If she doesn't listen, keep telling her until you get it into her mind.
nil
Am I wrong to give an ultimatum to my boyfriend about his pothead friend?
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and living together the last 2 years. He had a serious drug addiction to meth and pot, and went to residential treatment for a little over 6 months- Feb. '07 to Sep. '07 and came home. The problem is we have a guy friend "C" who is a really good guy, but a SERIOUS pothead and smokes weed all the time. While my bf was in rehab, my bf even said that he doesn't think he can be friends or hang out with "C" anymore. When my bf got back from rehab, a month later I allowed him to hang out with "C" at C's house almost every weekend. I don't know if my bf is lying or not, but he said that while "C" would smoke weed, he would go outside and have a cigarette. I trusted my bf in hoping he won't get addictive cravings and start weed again, and I trusted our friend "C" to watch out for him. Last Sunday, I caught my bf in C's truck, and it was all smoky inside. My bf claims he didn't smoke weed and was just talking. I told him I would buy a drug test from
Am I wrong to give an ultimatum to my boyfriend about his pothead friend?
It sounds like your boyfriend isn't worth it if he's going to lie to you! And no, your not being a parent, or being overcontrolling, you're just caring about their health! They both sound like jerks, no offense. Tell him to try to stop, and if he doesn't, tell him it's over. You seem to be the mature one in this situation.
Reply:he wont change for you... sorry to say. you shold leave so he can spend time with what he really loves... his weed.
I know how you feel i left a girl because she woudnt quit the weed...
Reply:first of all, you can still pass a drug test if you were in the car "just talking". thats hilarious. second, if i were you, i would be more concerned about the meth than the weed. weed isnt hard to get over, meth is the devils candy.
Reply:Having anything to do with drugs, or with anyone who does, is adequate grounds for dumping.
Reply:I don't think this kind of relationship is healthy for you. While I think it is very nice of you to care so much, I do think you need to back away. Let him realize that not only has his habits caused him trouble with the law, but it has pushed you away. Don't give up an him though. Tell him that you will help him as best you can as a friend. But that you can't be with someone you can't trust to be there for you, when he can't even help himself. Let him know that if he gets his act together you two may have a shot at being more then friends again.
Reply:its just weed get over it that aint no drug nor an addiction
Am I wrong to give an ultimatum to my boyfriend about his pothead friend?
It sounds like your boyfriend isn't worth it if he's going to lie to you! And no, your not being a parent, or being overcontrolling, you're just caring about their health! They both sound like jerks, no offense. Tell him to try to stop, and if he doesn't, tell him it's over. You seem to be the mature one in this situation.
Reply:he wont change for you... sorry to say. you shold leave so he can spend time with what he really loves... his weed.
I know how you feel i left a girl because she woudnt quit the weed...
Reply:first of all, you can still pass a drug test if you were in the car "just talking". thats hilarious. second, if i were you, i would be more concerned about the meth than the weed. weed isnt hard to get over, meth is the devils candy.
Reply:Having anything to do with drugs, or with anyone who does, is adequate grounds for dumping.
Reply:I don't think this kind of relationship is healthy for you. While I think it is very nice of you to care so much, I do think you need to back away. Let him realize that not only has his habits caused him trouble with the law, but it has pushed you away. Don't give up an him though. Tell him that you will help him as best you can as a friend. But that you can't be with someone you can't trust to be there for you, when he can't even help himself. Let him know that if he gets his act together you two may have a shot at being more then friends again.
Reply:its just weed get over it that aint no drug nor an addiction
This is about loyalty to friendship. Help me. I have a 2 friends who have been my friend for about 10 yrs?
one of them friend A is very jealous cause friend B is always spending time with me and hanging out with me cause we are more alike and we talk to each other almost everyday. friend A has discouraged friend B cause she thinks i tell it like it is very honest and open but friend B loves my honesty and has no problem. Except that this Friend B came on to my husband and i did not like it so we stopped ebing friends but she aplogized and I realize that friend B gets that way only when she is drunk. so we have been trying to work it out. Now friend B is running to friend A and friend A is telling her things like..if you don;t like the way Friend c is then don't be her friend..now don't u thinks she;s doing it cause she is trying to sever our friendship? I actually enjoy being with friend B she';s fun and yes she hurt me ..but i know we can work things out...she knows what she did was wrong..but recently friend A is hanging around with friend B a lot more .wat do u think%26gt;
This is about loyalty to friendship. Help me. I have a 2 friends who have been my friend for about 10 yrs?
You need to get new friends. I had a friend like your frend B for a long long time, not only did she come on to my husband, but every darn boyfriend I ever had. She was drunk too, but after a while, no excuse....dump her, trust me it won't change....it won't. Figure our how much the others mean to you, I ended up kind of dumping all of them, it is sad but too much drama and the drunk cheater has them all wrapped around her little finger. good luck.
Reply:This was very confusing to read. And it sounds very childish.
You are all friends. It shouldn't matter who spends more time with whom. You should plan time for the three of you to be together. Show Friend A that it's not a battle or choosing favorites.
Reply:Move on and find friend D E F and kick A and B to the curb... gaming playing is not what you want in a healthy relationship... this crap will never stop betweent the two of them... let them have each other and ler them know it... I hate two facedd people... I want honesty and true loyalty when it come to my best buds... hold higher standards whe it comes to the people in you life... this all comes from experience... believe me...
This is about loyalty to friendship. Help me. I have a 2 friends who have been my friend for about 10 yrs?
You need to get new friends. I had a friend like your frend B for a long long time, not only did she come on to my husband, but every darn boyfriend I ever had. She was drunk too, but after a while, no excuse....dump her, trust me it won't change....it won't. Figure our how much the others mean to you, I ended up kind of dumping all of them, it is sad but too much drama and the drunk cheater has them all wrapped around her little finger. good luck.
Reply:This was very confusing to read. And it sounds very childish.
You are all friends. It shouldn't matter who spends more time with whom. You should plan time for the three of you to be together. Show Friend A that it's not a battle or choosing favorites.
Reply:Move on and find friend D E F and kick A and B to the curb... gaming playing is not what you want in a healthy relationship... this crap will never stop betweent the two of them... let them have each other and ler them know it... I hate two facedd people... I want honesty and true loyalty when it come to my best buds... hold higher standards whe it comes to the people in you life... this all comes from experience... believe me...
Which friend should i invite to lock-in at my church?
Which friend should i invite to lock-in at my church?
friend A- if i went with her i would have a good time. But i kinda dont wanna go with her because well i just don't for a reason. her parents would definiately let her go.
friend B- If i invited her i would have an ok time. she definitely makes me laugh but i kinda dont wanna go with her either. umm , i think her parents would let her go
friend C- if i went with her i would have a good time. it may be kind of awkward at some points but i think it would go ok. i dont know her parents at all. not so sure they would let her go
Friend D- i would have a good time with her. she always makes me laugh.. but she might try and pull some pranks and i dont want to be embarassed at my church.. her parents would probably let her go but i dont know them
E- i would have an ok time with her. her parents would let her go
F- If i invited her i would have a good time. Her parents would let her go. we would have fun. it wud be ok.
Which friend should i invite to lock-in at my church?
You know what they LAST is BEST!
Go with F sounds like the one you already chose.
Reply:Friend F- If i invited her i would have a good time. Her parents would let her go. we would have fun. it wud be ok.
First you say you'll have a good time, then you say you'll have fun, and then you say "it would be ok????"
I say Friend F even though I'm confused.
Reply:Invite Friend F. If she can't go, invite A, B, or E. You want to have a good time, but you don't want things to be awkward for any reasons, and you don't want someone pulling pranks at your church. If you can invite them all, or more than one, that would be a lot of fun. Lock-ins are always fun with more people! Whoever you invite, I hope you have fun!
Reply:friend F- sounds like the best choice
Reply:what is "lock-in at my church"?
friend A- if i went with her i would have a good time. But i kinda dont wanna go with her because well i just don't for a reason. her parents would definiately let her go.
friend B- If i invited her i would have an ok time. she definitely makes me laugh but i kinda dont wanna go with her either. umm , i think her parents would let her go
friend C- if i went with her i would have a good time. it may be kind of awkward at some points but i think it would go ok. i dont know her parents at all. not so sure they would let her go
Friend D- i would have a good time with her. she always makes me laugh.. but she might try and pull some pranks and i dont want to be embarassed at my church.. her parents would probably let her go but i dont know them
E- i would have an ok time with her. her parents would let her go
F- If i invited her i would have a good time. Her parents would let her go. we would have fun. it wud be ok.
Which friend should i invite to lock-in at my church?
You know what they LAST is BEST!
Go with F sounds like the one you already chose.
Reply:Friend F- If i invited her i would have a good time. Her parents would let her go. we would have fun. it wud be ok.
First you say you'll have a good time, then you say you'll have fun, and then you say "it would be ok????"
I say Friend F even though I'm confused.
Reply:Invite Friend F. If she can't go, invite A, B, or E. You want to have a good time, but you don't want things to be awkward for any reasons, and you don't want someone pulling pranks at your church. If you can invite them all, or more than one, that would be a lot of fun. Lock-ins are always fun with more people! Whoever you invite, I hope you have fun!
Reply:friend F- sounds like the best choice
Reply:what is "lock-in at my church"?
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