My friend recently admitted he's gay (we knew it too) but now thinks he isn't b/c pastor. how can i help him?

How can I help him not deny himself, we all know he is gay, and he was out of the closest and happy for about a week. Just today though, he listened to a tape that said he wasn't gay, he just was lacking male friendship. He thinks he was just confused and he now thinks he is straight. I know it's his free will, but we all know he is denying himself, and that's worse in my opinion. He can't get over the fact he thinks its wrong and he will sin. What advice could I tell him so is comfortable with being gay?

My friend recently admitted he's gay (we knew it too) but now thinks he isn't b/c pastor. how can i help him?
Tell him to make his own decisions, his pastor does not control his life.
Reply:If I am interperting your question correctly, your friend finally realized he was gay and came to terms with it. Then because of something he read from his religious advisor (pastor?) he now thinks is was just confused and was choosing to be gay.


If I got it right then there are several things that you can help your friend with.


First, find out what it was that he was given to read. If it is anything like the usual religious tripe that is spread around then he is being told he is sinning because of his thoughts and will go to hell or some such bs.


Second, if you are well versed in the Bible, which is where the alledged pious christians get their bs, then sit down with your friend and read the various passages in the Bible about homosexuality, which is never mentioned specifically, only the description of the acts of the type of sex.


Third, explain that these verses are specific to certain types of sex acts. The depraved and hedonistic orgy type of sex that is specifically described would apply to heterosexuals as well as homosexuals that particiapte in gross multiple partner sex.


Fourth, explain that the love people have for one another be it male for male, male for female or female for female if maintained as a monogamaus relationship is of a caring and loving and nurturing type that is also described in the Bible as LOVE%26gt; the single most important command that Jesus gave was to love your neighbors as yourself. In other words respect ones self and the people around you by loving them without reservation.





The best description of love is also shown in the Bible as being the single most powerful attribute of God.





What is condemed in the Bible is the lack of love and the animalistic disregard for the people you are having a relationship with.





As is said "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things."





As for free will -- when it comes to sexuality -- there is no such thing. If a person is gay then they are gay. It they are straight then they are straight. The rub comes with bi-sexuality. They are happy on both sides of the street and many times do have a choice but always have a preference as to what side they are more comfortable on - more at peace with themselves.





I would recommend that he get some independant counciling from a professional that deals specifically with gay and uncertain youth. I would also recommend the PFLAG.com website for local chapters for help too.





Best wishes to you and your friend.
Reply:wow... i'm glad your on the side of him fighting denial... I don't know what advice to give, but tell him you're his friend either way... and that theres nothing wrong with being gay... he'll come out of it in time... poor guy...
Reply:http://www.freetobeme.com/





http://www.newdirection.ca/





http://www.outpostministries.org/
Reply:I'm gay and have lots of straight friends. It's just who you are or aren't. It's hard for some people to come out because of the same reasons that he is now going back in. Just talk to him and let him know it's ok.
Reply:I'm lesbian and a true believer in GOD. I took me time with the battle within. Finally I came to the realization that only GOD himself at judgment day can tell me if I was wrong. I seriously inside don't fell god will send me to hell just for that fact I loved another women. He need to realize people will judge him, even though they don't look in the mirror and judge them self!!